This Exercise Will Change Your Year (and Maybe Your Life)
The new year is upon us, and I'm brimming with excitement to set my New Year's resolutions! There's something magical about dreaming up a vision for the year ahead.
For years, I'd meticulously craft my New Year's resolutions, a hopeful inventory of all the fascinating things I'd achieve. I'd be gung-ho for the first month or two, and then… well, I'd realize my goals weren't aligned with what I actually wanted to do. Or I'd simply find myself overwhelmed by the sheer volume of commitments and abandon most of them.
A few years ago, I had an epiphany. Why not approach my New Year's resolutions with the same strategic planning companies use for their annual goals? In theory, the process should work for both.
When companies engage in annual planning, there are two fundamental pillars:
Defining your top-level goals: By establishing these overarching goals, you create a framework for prioritizing and shaping your projects.
Prioritization & capacity planning: Assessing capacity for the year's projects and narrowing down commitments based on their alignment with top-level goals.
I've adopted a similar framework for setting New Year's resolutions. No more lists of hopes and dreams that fade by February. I'm here to help you realign your compass, refine your goals, and truly commit to achieving them.
#1 Defining your top-level goals
The most effective way to figure out what I truly want to do in the next year (and in life) is to do The Deathbed Exercise. It's powerful because it encourages you to think less tactically about your life, liberating you from your day-to-day mindset. It enables more strategic thinking, allowing you to zoom out and contemplate your life and aspirations.
A wealthy Frenchman, known as the Trump Whale, made over $85 million betting on Trump to win the election and used a special polling technique where he asked people who they thought their neighbors would vote for (instead of who they themselves would vote for). The core insight is that people can be more honest and open about other people's intentions than their own.
The deathbed exercise similarly doesn't ask you what you currently value, instead, it asks you to imagine a much older version of you and what they would value. This shift in perspective allows you to detach from the present and embody a future version of yourself. You delve into the thoughts and values of this future self. It's easier to be honest about your deepest desires when you consider what this, other, future you might want.
The exercise is one of deep reflection. It requires you to realign with your truest self and ensure you’re heading in the direction you actually desire. An important aspect is shedding any limiting beliefs that accumulate over time. Charting your course is far more fulfilling than drifting aimlessly in the sea of others' expectations.
Here is the EmpowerFlow Deathbed Worksheet that will guide you through the exercise.
This exercise isn't just for New Year's resolutions. It's a potent tool you can wield anytime you feel stuck, lost, or uncertain of your direction. Whether you're contemplating a career change, facing a major life decision, or simply yearning for a reset, The Deathbed Exercise can provide the clarity and insight you need to move forward with confidence.
Your answers will evolve, and that's perfectly natural. What I documented three years ago in my journal during the Deathbed Exercise differed from last year's, and I'm certain it will diverge from this year's.
We have 5 more days until New Year’s Eve. Add a 2-hour block to your calendar dedicated to going through this exercise with yourself. I’ll be doing mine Sunday morning December 29th at 9 am.
#2 Prioritization & capacity planning
For the second stage of annual planning, you'll need to:
Prioritize your projects against your top-level goal
Evaluate how much capacity you have
Narrow down your commitments based on your priorities and capacity.
Companies are ruthless in how they prioritize. Capitalism and competition force them to. They are working with limited resources and trying to achieve big goals. The ones that do it the best succeed and deliver outsized shareholder value $$$. In our own lives, we are also working with limited resources and trying to achieve big goals. The principles are the same.
Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals helped me grasp and embrace this concept. It's not your typical time management book. Instead of squeezing more in, it encourages us to embrace our limited time and prioritize what truly matters. Burkeman argues that our obsession with productivity often leads to anxiety and overwhelm. We chase endless (and sometimes meaningless) to-dos, losing sight of what brings genuine fulfillment.
The book challenged me to rethink my relationship with time. It offers a more mindful and intentional approach, leading me to two key takeaways:
Choosing Priorities: Identify what truly matters and let go of the rest.
Accepting limitations: I can't do everything, and that's perfectly fine.
You’ll do what you can, you won’t do what you can’t and the tyrannical inner voice insisting that you must do everything is simply mistaken.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
I used to strive to do everything. I still yearn to. However, I've come to terms with the fact that I cannot do everything. And it's surprisingly liberating.
Here's a glimpse into my first year of the MBA program (while working full-time):
Year 1:
Working 50+ hour work weeks
Going to class all day on Saturday
Signed up for 3 different Haas clubs
Went to every social event I was invited to that I was "free" for
Slept on average 6 hours a night
Saw the inside of a gym < 20 times
Was always "stylishly late" (aka running late from one commitment to another)
Didn't cook much at home
I read Four Thousand Weeks before year two of my MBA. Here's how that year unfolded:
Year 2:
Working 50+ hour work weeks
Going to class all day on Saturday
Dropped 3 different Haas clubs
Went to every social event I had the capacity for
Slept on average 7 hours a night
Went to the gym at least once a week
Was still stylish but less late
Cooked dinner at home 3 times a week
What's different? I prioritized, deprioritized, and became honest with myself about what I could realistically accomplish with my time. Work and school remained top priorities. In year two, clubs were deprioritized, and self-care was elevated. Social events weren't automatically accepted just because my calendar was free. I thoughtfully considered my priorities and capacity before committing to anything.
Year 2 wasn't perfect, but it was significantly better. Navigating life with clear priorities and an acceptance of my limited time and energy feels profoundly easier.
It’s only by facing our finitude that we can step into a truly authentic relationship with life.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
Happy New Year,
Tara
P.S. Safe travels home after the holidays! For some ideas on how to better work while on the road, check out this post.
Can’t wait to try the Deathbed exercise!